Motherhood is something that has both ups and downs. Scrolling through social media and hearing updates from loved ones can sometimes give the illusion that motherhood is all up… all ladders… no chutes. Yesterday was a ladder. I should have gotten a gold medal. MADD walk and zoo in the morning. (insert napping in the car because to damn scared to move the baby), swim class, lunch out, naps and then pumpkin patch and festivities followed by burgers and shakes… all with two glorious children three and under! Today… well today was a chute. Today is what you don’t read about as much. Today is the day that you slowly daydream every minute you can about five minutes peace.
Motherhood today looked like a child screaming so loud because she finally saw a scratch she has had for over 24 hours. That said child screamed so much that she made herself vomit… everywhere. Husband trots off to work and so we enter the survival zone. Breastfeeding on demand all day with a child that thinks boobs can be removed and taken to go and she slurps and turns her head across the room. Not to mention… a child with four teeth that are similar to what I can remember from the Jaws movie so much that when nursing at times I can hear the theme song.. duh nuh duh nuh….
Wrestling for diaper changes, wild acrobats to give medicine discretely, blowing in her face when for the third time she decides that she is so mad she will hold her breath until she turns blue. This child honestly gets so mad so quick – I have to pee, mad. I have to put her down, mad. I have to sneeze, mad. Well maybe it is not always mad but I think all that have witnessed her reactions can say it is a far cry from happy. This is my same child that in the next minute will be clapping and inhaling in awe at another miracle, such as her sister playing peek a boo for the 90th time.
Praying every time she falls asleep that not a single noise as made during the infamous transfer to the crib and marine style crawling out of there just for a simple moment of shut eye since there was no sleep to be had last night. Begging your three year old to watch KungFu Panda and listen to the monitor. Keeping the baby in the laundry basket while folding as this is the only thing second best to clinging to mommy for dear life. Prepping another glorious crock pot dinner and throwing food at the three dogs and two babies just so you can finish the chopping. Cleaning up after daddy and putting away his FIVE baskets of clean clothes that somehow cannot find their way into the closet as your three year old says, “you should really talk to him about this mess… he is almost a sicko.”
Feeling outrage and betrayal on the inside when you find out your partner has gone to the store solo and you are still trying to get through the house with two chimpanzees stuck to your legs screaming. Kindly asking him to turn around and take the children with. Making up new lyrics… today’s was not half bad.
All by myself
I want to be all by myself.
When I was young,
I didn’t have any kids.
There was no one crying or screaming…. (well you get the point)
Just as you think you are hitting a home run with your hubs taking both kids to costco, poops deluxe hits that only a shower can cure. With one child strapped into the van reciting Tinkerbells Lost Fairy Pirate for the 1000th time this weekend, you run the other into the shower which somehow consists of washing, feeding, tricking her into ear drops all while hoping the conditioner washes out of your hair and doesn’t get in her eyes.
And there we have it… five minutes peace.
I hope other moms have these moments too. Writing about them brings a strange sense of peace… and moreover I want to remember these moments too. Life is not all unicorns pooping rainbows 🙂