The advice for grief


Take more pictures I am told.  Well virtually I think half of America and I followed you around with a camera for your entire life. I have enough pictures just not enough moments. 

Don’t listen to music it will be too painful I am told.  I listen to every song that reminds me of you. It feels like you are right there.  I can remember vividly your amazing dance moves and crazy faces that made me laugh til I cried.  
Don’t stay in Arizona I am told.  I don’t want to leave.  I love driving every street we ever drove together.  I love eating at our favorite places and running our errands… Me buying you food.  I will remember you every day and have reminders on every corner.  That is something I will not leave behind.   You are apart of my every day here.  
Don’t hold on to belongings I am told. I have one shirt for now and one pair of shorts.  They smell like you.  I love seeing them in my room every day.  You were just here not that long ago.  I remember every moment I have ever picked up your clothes, washed them, organized them.  I was blessed to be able to do that for you. 
Try to focus on other things I am told.  Every important thing in life I bothered you with.  I interrupted your greys marathons to tell you stupid details of my day.  You interrupted my weekend getaways with three hour discussions of whether or not to adopt another dog.  That is what we did.  I will have focuses in my life… And they will still be shared with you. Tha you for continuing to listen to me.  Wish I could hear your wise cracks back.  
This will pass I am told.  I don’t ever want you to pass.  Until the day I join you don’t you pass.  I will not get over this. I will not forget this.  I will not forget you.  You are a part of me.  One of the best parts of me and I am forever grateful. I will carry you.  I will honor you.  I will love you.  My life forever changed when yours did.  This is my new life and I still have you.  Just in a way that selfishly doesn’t feel as good.  I am happy you are at peace.  I am happy you are free from pain.  I just miss you.  
You are my angel in the sky.  I will remain your earthly being that will carry your memory, never forget you, and do many wonderful things in your honor.  I was honored to know and love you.  
The one that makes sense… Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.

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